


just close your eyes

by RogueRebel96, TaraLy



Series: Happy AU [4]
Category: The X-Files RPF
Genre: AU, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Fluff, Happy AU, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Pillow Talk, Romance, teeny tiny angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26359885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueRebel96/pseuds/RogueRebel96, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraLy/pseuds/TaraLy
Summary: still Happy!AU gillovny but in the earlier days.
Relationships: Gillian Anderson/David Duchovny
Series: Happy AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718515
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	1. a dream

**2013**

She wakes up on an early Sunday morning, when everything is so quiet as if time has stopped. Last night she forgot to close the curtains, the autumn daylight spreads across her sheets like a very thin layer of amber, neither warm nor cold but soft and somehow soothing. She doesn’t realize she’s smiling until she looks over to the empty space at the other side of her bed and her smile turns upside down, pulling along the relaxed feeling in her muscles. 

It was just a dream.

Not really, it’s a memory. Those days they spent together in New York after the Paley Center panel are enough for her to believe that it was real. The warmth from his flesh lingers on hers, the ghost of his rough five o’clock shadow rubbing her cheeks and thighs, and his taste is more vivid than ever. But then she’s back to London alone and long days have gone by without anything from him, and suddenly she’s not that sure anymore. More than ever, she takes in the cold empty space next to her, where he was in her dream, warm and beautiful and loving, wrapped around her like a cocoon, smothering her body in kisses as light as butterflies, making her feel like the happiest person on earth. She's all but lying still, listening to his breathing, unsaid things left behind, their focus only on each other. A sweet dream yet so painful, because it’s just the past. Because he’s not here with her right now. She feels like crying.

Her phone buzzes and she would deny the call if she didn't see his name on the screen on time. She raises her phone to her ear and presses her fingertips on the spot between her eyebrows to stop herself from weeping.

“Good morning, Gilly.”

“Hi, David,” she says, pretends to be sleepy, hoping it would hide her shaky voice.

“Did I wake you? I call too early?” he chuckles, seems to be convinced.

“No, but I just woke up like 5 minutes ago. You’re lucky.”

“Sorry, I keep thinking about you and didn’t realize I pressed the ‘call’ button.”

“Isn’t it 3am at your place or something?”

“Yeah, can’t sleep,” he pauses, then laughs, “They say when you can’t sleep it means someone is dreaming about you. Did you have a dream about me?”

She must have been quiet for a while, because over the sound of her wildly beating heart, she faintly hears his voice nervously calls out: “Gillian?”

“...Yes. I just had a dream about you,” she confesses. “About us last week.”

“Best week of my life,” he sighs, “I miss you, Gilly.”

“Sometimes I wonder if it was all just a dream,” she continues, barely letting him finish.

“Ye of little faith,” he teases.

“Until I did dream about it, then I wake up and you aren’t here,” she hastily wipes at her tears, feeling pathetic. “In a second I thought nothing from the last week was real.”

“No, listen to me,” he states firmly, immediately turning serious. “I assure you, this time it is real, we are real! Even though our past might make you think the opposite and I don’t blame you one bit, it was all me and I’m so, so sorry, baby, but I promise this is real. Can you trust me one more time?”

“I do,” she sobs. “I do trust you. It’s just...”

“Oh, baby, don’t cry.” his voice pleading on the other side. “Please don’t cry.”

“I miss you too,” she whispers, her chest clenches in the realization that she’s already in love with him more than she dares to admit. Maybe she’s always been and never stopped.

“Tell you what,” he gently says, using the tone that he uses to comfort her, and it always works. Her breathing calms almost immediately, she closes her eyes and lets his voice caress her skin. It almost feels like she’s held by him, but still not enough. “I’ll catch the earliest flight to London.”

“You don’t have to…,” she begins but he presses on.

“I know, but I want to see you. I want to hug and kiss you. I want to make love to you and spend time with you, doing nothing and everything. Okay?”

His voice sincere and full of determination, chasing away every single doubt in her. This time, he, as well as Gillian, will do whatever it takes to make them work. And they both know that. She’s touched by his gesture, a sense of relief washing over her.

“Okay,” she coos.

“Go eat something. Play with your boys, I’ll be there in no time.”

“See you soon.”

“Very soon.”

She hangs up first, feeling something like daylight sneaking into her heart. Hope.


	2. safe and sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David had a dream.

He never thought that one day he would rip his schedule to shreds to be with her in London. When she jumped into his arms the second the door closed behind him, he realized that was one of his best decisions. After their frenzied reunion sex, she was eager to show him her city. They wore sunglasses and caps, he went with a t-shirt and jeans while she pulled a hoodie out of his duffel bag and black pants. They look every bit like a normal couple on a date. They took a tour around her neighbourhood, then some of her favourite spots. He bought both of them ice cream and she leaned in for a quick kiss on a crowded bridge. Now he’s lying spent on her bed, late at night, with her draped atop of him, skin on skin. He should be sleeping by now, but he feels restless, his mind wouldn’t stop racing. 

“Where are you?” she murmurs, her voice vibrating on his chest, bringing him back to her dimly lit bedroom. 

“Right here,” he replies, rubbing her arms. A pause, then he suddenly asks before he can stop himself: “Are you okay?” 

She picks up her head to look at him, confused: “Why wouldn’t I be?” Her eyes soften when she adds: “You’re here with me now.” 

He touches her cheek with the back of his hand, then cups it entirely, his thumbs grazing her lips. Something in his eyes makes her brows furrow, she sits up a little more and turns her head to kiss his palm. “David? What’s wrong?” 

“A few days ago, I had a dream,” he starts talking again, moves his hand on her cheek to stroke her bare back, to ground himself. “I saw you sitting on a train going somewhere, or a plane, I don’t know...But you were alone and you were crying. I called your name over and over, but you didn’t hear or see me. I couldn’t move my legs to get to you either. I felt so helpless, Gillian. And you kept crying and crying.” He takes in a shaky breath, trying not to remember her wrenching sobs in his nightmare. 

“Is that why you called this morning? To check on me?” She gently asks, her eyes nothing but sympathy and adoration. There were times that she did exactly what he dreamed. 

“Part of it, yes,” he nods. “It scares me that maybe you’re not well and I wasn't there for you. But mostly, I just missed you.” Turns out he’s not the only one disturbed by a dream. 

“I can take care of myself,” she scrunches her nose. 

“Boy, do I know that,” he chuckles, tapping her hip two times. ‘Love you’, his fingers say. 

“I just wish that you don’t have to deal with everything all the time. We can share, or take turns, you know? I’m here for you. All ears, all my heart and soul.” He means every word, and he makes a silent promise that he will try his absolute best to be there for her when she falls apart. 

It seems like she can tell, because she looks like she wants to cry, but instead bends her head to kiss him deeply on the lips and only parts when they both struggle for air. Their foreheads find each other, her honey yellow hair tickles his cheeks. 

“You’re so precious, you know that?” she rubs her nose against his. 

“I had such a great time with you today,” he confesses. “I’m so happy, but every time I feel happy I end up thinking about when it ends. I don’t want us to come to an end, not this time.” 

“Hey, none of that,” she slips both of her hands into his hair, her eyes piercing into him, “We’ll figure it out together, okay? I won’t give up on us. I…” she pauses, hesitating. She’s not ready, not yet. She tries to tell him that she will be, soon. But he already knew, gazing at her so tenderly that she thinks her heart might melt. He rolls both of them over and lays on his side, his head cradled between her breasts. 

“Promise me that you won’t cry alone anymore, unless you want to be alone. Even if I wasn’t here with you, I’m just one call away. Even if I can’t do anything for you, at least let me cry with you.” he nuzzles into her, puckers his lips to kiss one of her nipples. 

She scratches his hair gently, letting out a breathy laugh. “Okay, okay, I’ll try."

"Thank you."

"Sleep David, I’m in your arms now. Let’s just forget about the future. I’m home, with you and my kids, and that’s enough.” 

He clings to her, letting the sound of her breathing lulls him to sleep. He, too, doesn’t need anything else but that. As long as they are together.


	3. an arrowhead leads us home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one big decision

**2014**

He wakes up without knowing why. It’s like his body decided he has to, then gave him a nudge. After checking his phone and seeing the numbers of 4:20 glaring back at him, he glances around his apartment as if trying to look for some kind of culprit. He’s about to go back to sleep when the person next to him lets out a hitched breath. His slightly annoyed feeling immediately fades away and is replaced by worry. He scoots closer to her under the sheets. She’s on her side facing him, her brows furrowed, and one of her hands tugs under her cheek while the other is clutching her pillow. His stomach clenches when he touches her face and finds her cheek is wet with tears. He holds her shoulder and gently shakes her, calling as gently as possible:

“Gilly? Gillian, wake up baby.”

She makes a sound like a hiccup then slowly opens her eyes, another two hot tears slip from her eyes to soak in her pillow. 

“David?” she calls, her voice so small and fragile he can barely hear it.

“I’m here, I’m right here,” he brushes her hair out of her face and thumbs away her tears. “Bad dreams?”

She nods but remains silent and he half expects she would get off the bed and make a beeline to the toilet, but then she throws an arm over his torso and buries her face in his chest. He freezes for half a second, then quickly wraps his arms tightly around her, tucks her under his chin. He wants to take away all of her shadows, all of her pain, fills her with nothing but love and happiness. In the darkness, his hand on her back trembles, he tries to swallow a lump in his throat when she whispers from his chest, he feels her words more than hearing them:

“We weren’t together and you left me to be with someone else, because you couldn’t handle the long distance,” she’s trying to talk with her monotone to hide her pain, and it absolutely pierces him like an icy blade. Meanwhile, her fingernails are digging into his skin, like a punishment. But then she balls the fabric of his shirt into her fist as if her dream could become reality at any moment and she’s preparing to hold him back. His heart shatters. 

“God…” he breathes, then moves his head back just enough to kiss her hair, her forehead, her nose, then her lips, all wet and salty with tears, because that’s the only thing he can do at the moment. When he finally finds his voice, he murmurs his apologies over and over to her forehead. He apologizes for that man in her nightmare, for giving her any reasons to have it in the first place. At one point she whimpers:

“Don’t let me go.”

“No, never,” he shakes his head furiously. “That would never, ever happen. Nothing can take me away from you, baby. I promise, I promise.” She hides her face in his neck as he continues rambling his assurance to her, any he can think of, no matter how lame it might be. And it seems to work, her body slowly relaxes and melts into his embrace. He rubs her back in circles and keeps kissing her hair. 

“...ter,” she mumbles, lips glued at his neck.

“What’s that?”

“Hold me tighter,” she repeats.

He immediately tightens his arm, presses her tiny body impossibly closer to him and curls around her like a protective cocoon. “Shhh, it’s alright. Go back to sleep, I’m right here,” she puts a hand above his heart and he puts his on top of it, interlaces their fingers. Two bodies huddle together as if any space between them would cause instant death. They fit perfectly.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

True to his words, the rest of the night he stays awake as long as he can, refusing to even go to dreamland, being her guard. He watches her nuzzles her face at his shirt and sniffles, her legs tangled with his as her breathing evens out once again, their fingers mold together as one. He kisses away her frowns, keeping bad dreams at bay while thinking briefly about her house, his house, London and New York, before the sandman catches him. 

★

When she wakes up in the late morning, the first thing she sees is her David still lying in bed, gazing at her. His rough hand moves to stroke her cheek tenderly when their eyes meet. She hums dreamily, basking in his love. Little does she know, he skipped his morning workout to be in bed with her, because after what happened last night he doesn’t want her to open her eyes and not find him. What she does realize is the feeling of relief washing over her, pulling her lips into the brightest smile. And when his fingers start to wander along her nose, counting her freckles, she closes her eyes appreciatively and purrs like a cat, claiming back her position in his arms. 

At that exact moment, he realizes home isn’t a place. Never a place. Where he lives doesn’t seem so important anymore. Maybe it stopped being important altogether since he pushed aside everything and went to London that day in 2013 to be with her, even though they were so new at the time and there were so many questions. Yet, he never once questioned himself about his decision, because it felt so right. It never occurs to him, until now, that his heart has always been reaching for her, and whether or not he allows it is irrelevant. She is his home now, plain and simple.

He touches her forehead with his, takes in a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

“I want to move to London.”

She stares into his eyes and sees her stunned face, in contrast with his calm and sincere look. 

“Why?” 

“Are you seriously asking for a reason?” he chuckles. “Because I want to be closer to you, to be there for you whenever you feel like having me around, to hold you when you want to be held. I don’t want to clutch at my phone and feel helpless when you’re sad anymore. London is your home and now I want to be a part of it.”

She can see he really means it. And she’s surprised, not because of his request, but because she’s never wanted to say yes so quickly. As if the answer has stuck to the roof of her mouth all this time, just waiting for him to be ready and ask.

He takes her silence as a bad sign, but continues despite fear is tingling at his spine:

“We don’t have to move in with each other if you don’t want to. I bought a place there a while ago.”

“What?” she laughs in disbelief. “You bought a house in London?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs. “I did that on an impulse actually, just wanted to have something that is near you. I barely stay there because whenever I’m in London I always stay at yours, but now I can put the house into good use.” 

Tears are welling in her eyes and she blinks to get rid of them. “Fuck, I love you so much,” she whispers against his lips before pressing hers to them. 

“You too,” he replies then kisses her back, one hand pulling at her waist. They take sipping kisses from each other for several moments, but before her tongue has the chance to find its way into his mouth, he parts and asks, his breath teasing her lovely pout:

“Gillian, will you let me be a part of your home?”

“We still have a lot to talk about this, but yes,” she giggles gleefully, peppering his chin with kisses. “Yes, please move to London with me.”

“If I bribe you with homemade breakfast, will you consider us moving in together?” He decides to push his luck a little bit more.

“Chances are high,” her eyes sparkled, never back down from a challenge. “Better start now, Duchovny.”

“On it, miss Anderson,” he steals one last passionate kiss before getting off the bed. When he reaches for the door handle, he hears her voice behind him, soft and shy but so, so sure:

“Just so you know, you’ve been my home for a long time.”

Shame on him to ever think that he could not love her more.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not our native language, so pardon us for the mistakes. Your comments will be very appreciated!


End file.
